Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Pain Sucks

Pain sucks!! No matter the reason, it sucks!! You'd think it would suck a little less after 8 yrs... wrong! So since I am currently engaged in a pain pity party I thought I'd write about it. It helps sometimes, maybe I think it keeps me from going insane. Just a warning... I don't think I have anything really profound or insightful to write. So I completely understand if you stop reading now.

So in the thralls of pitiness I still ask the stupidest question, "why?". Not necessarily "why me?" but more "why this?". Why not something more treatable? Why not something more understood and excepted? And WHY Kansas? "Why Kansas?" You might ask. Well, if you have chronic pain this is one of THE worst states to possibly live in. Thanks to some wonderful doctors who made tons of money illegally and killed some people along the way by prescribing pain meds. Most doctors here are down right scared to even prescribe pain meds, that is if they even believe you need them in the first place!! (By they way, those docs are now in prison) Thankfully (hey look, something positive) our family doctor is great. He and Miles have built a bond outside of the clinic and I'm certain that was not by accident. So my doctor believes me and takes wonderful care of me. BUT... being pregnant and insurance changes have caused me to be doctoring with a new OB. So here I am, on the verge of yet another appointment to explain myself. And for those of you freaking out to read that I take pain meds while pregnant, you can calm down... I've been on pain meds during every pregnancy except the first (before I got "sick"). All of my babies have been born healthy. I can most certainly say that I am not addicted either. I have great control when it comes to taking them... I have to be in ALOT of pain and for awhile and have tried other things first before I take anything. They work but they also have side effects which aren't that pleasant.

So, on Monday I get to bring this up with the OB. The pain is worse now, always is later in pregnancy. Then I get to take my prescription to the pharmacy where the tech will give me that LOOK, not only because of the pain meds but because of being pregnant. Then when I go back the pharmicist will give me the same LOOK as he/she explains the medication info assuming I'm a junkie.
So here is the real "why?" I guess....
Why do I feel like I have to plead my case and withstand those looks and judgements just to get relief and taken care of? Just doesn't seem fair.

I know a lady here that has chronic, severe pain from a years old injury that has resulted in additional pain from scar tissue/arthritis/nerve damage. She got "accidently" placed on the DEA watchlist by a pharmacy when she was getting her pain meds. Because of that she CANNOT get any pain med precriptions filled. (that "accident" cannot be reversed once done) She is now on a pain pump. The final, last resort treatment for pain. She is in her mid 50s, with no other pain med options available to her for the rest of her life probably! Now THAT isn't fair! Pain Sucks!!!
So now I have totally forgotten where I was going to go with this pity party originally... oh well. Maybe someone will be encouraged just to know they aren't alone at their own pity parties!

And just because it's been awhile... if you or someone you know has pain from a chronic condition and/or invisible illness, check out this website. www.butyoudontlooksick.com
it is fabulous! and they have a page on facebook too!

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