tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68665654209885459612024-03-14T06:40:48.452-05:00Life Outside Of The BubbleI didn't grow up in a Christian bubble nor does my life now fit into that bubble...Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-61436913892229859612011-05-06T20:38:00.004-05:002011-05-06T21:19:18.045-05:00"Happy Mother's Day to Me"Here it is...<br /><div style="text-align: center;">Happy Mother's Day!<br />ARGH!!!!! Ok, I said it. And there is no smiley face thingy to express my emotion here.<br />I HATE MOTHER'S DAY!<br />I do. I really honestly do.<br />Am I horrible or what??<br />Honestly, I don't care... I still hate it!<br />For me, Mother's Day is celebrating MY mom...<br />well, she died over 2 years ago...<br />what exactly am I to celebrate?! (rhetorical question, don't bother!)<br />I know, I know... "you have 5 kids... blah, blah, blah..."<br />I get it, I do... but when you have spent essentially 30 years celebrating your Mom<br />on Mother's Day<br />and then she is suddenly gone.................................................<br />well, Mother's Day just sucks now!<br />That's it, that's my rant.<br />I miss my mom... she was one of my best friends.<br />I loved her. I still love her so much!<br />She was awesome, she really was, even through all her "MOM?!" moments!<br />She was the best Mimi my kids will ever have.<br />I'm sad that my kids miss her.<br />I'm sad that some of kids have NO memory of her.<br />I'm sad 2 of my kids have never met her.<br />I'm just sad.<br />There I said it!<br />I miss her, it's not fair... more "blah, blah, blah...."<br />So now I am a full blown blubbering idiot and I can't find the pic of my mom and I that I wanted to post, so forget it, I just want to be done.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyJGabevYPmBLzA3K9IXaGxLcq1Rilk3Gli-nzdO6d-u051X2_R8D424LiIa9TrpcVyqzTFrg7t7O415_zQn6sfX7hmZ_5gXfIAc7DE-irRFZDwgWIz1drjbpR1OvVMvPUtRXY_11YoneM/s1600/.+118.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyJGabevYPmBLzA3K9IXaGxLcq1Rilk3Gli-nzdO6d-u051X2_R8D424LiIa9TrpcVyqzTFrg7t7O415_zQn6sfX7hmZ_5gXfIAc7DE-irRFZDwgWIz1drjbpR1OvVMvPUtRXY_11YoneM/s400/.+118.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5603791450298810546" border="0" /></a>Here is the best pic of her.<br />And all my babies!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwuV_qbb1QdwS0FnfpYcDHcRPFNbYRPDNHMbNjUg-4rcnDeZrV-B_a3F7RVOErBqSH7NbDUDIKvWLGmoBGgLusbYK7witI-Sa7q1ka8HDSV1dB2QxXNTxNEOMRnG1SYYJGZHce3QfLYJyn/s1600/.+077.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwuV_qbb1QdwS0FnfpYcDHcRPFNbYRPDNHMbNjUg-4rcnDeZrV-B_a3F7RVOErBqSH7NbDUDIKvWLGmoBGgLusbYK7witI-Sa7q1ka8HDSV1dB2QxXNTxNEOMRnG1SYYJGZHce3QfLYJyn/s400/.+077.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5603791451899663842" border="0" /></a>Happy Mother's Day!<br /><br /><br /></div>Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-15138469003752075932011-03-19T19:20:00.002-05:002011-03-19T19:44:02.588-05:00I have this friend...<div align="center">I have this friend...</div><div align="center">we've been friends, very good friends, since Middle School...</div><div align="center">we have A LOT of memories together...</div><div align="center">our kids are the same age, we were pregnant together...</div><div align="center">I know that she would do anything for me or anyone in my family...</div><div align="center">and she is currently an inmate at a state correctional facility.</div><div align="center">Yep, how's that for "Life Outside of the Bubble"?</div><div align="center">*disclaimer-her current home will be from about 9mo to 2yrs... 6mo down!</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="left">This friend had a rought start to adulthood... married her abusive boyfriend right out of high school. I prayed for her safety for years. Then I began praying for the safety of her kids. And I prayed for Jesus to touch their lives. </div><div align="center">Finally, my prayers were answered... way beyond what I ever asked for. </div><div align="center">Not only is she one of my very best friends, she is my sister in Christ and I love her!</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="left">When I got to talk with her yesterday on the phone (she calls every couple of weeks) we were both in tears. She was telling me how all she does now "on the inside" is read and study her Bible and go to all church activities, she "can't get enough"... those were her words. She told me that she finally understood why I had been praying for her all these years, why I hadn't given up on her, why I loved her.... </div><div align="center">Then she began to tell me that the way I live my life finally made sense to her...</div><div align="center">I couldn't keep it in...</div><div align="center">the tears flowed!</div><div align="center">I am humbled and elated at the same time. Not very often in this life do we get to hear someone say those kind of things. So many times we may be involved with the beginning of someone's spiritual journey but rarely get to see them mature and grow over the years.</div><div align="center">I feel privileged that the Lord has given me such an amazing friend... </div><div align="center">then AND now!</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="left">I feel very unworthy of her words... I've been in a valley for quite some time... </div><div align="left">I'm thankful it isn't valleys all of the time and for this little glimpse of the mountain peak!</div>Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-59701938679604358222011-01-28T20:23:00.002-06:002011-01-28T20:49:02.028-06:00depression?!<div align="center">WARNING: The following post is indeed a rant.</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">Depression?!</div><div align="center">Do I believe it is real? Yes!</div><div align="center">Do I believe it has anything to do with spiritual matters of the heart? Sure!</div><div align="center">Do I think there is such a thing as post-partum depression? Absolutely!</div><div align="center">Do I have a family history of depression? Unfortunately!</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">This post is not up for spiritual debate! I'm done with that!</div><div align="center">I personally believe that depression is real and </div><div align="center">that there are medications that can be of great help! This is not my first rodeo so to speak!</div><div align="center">And it almost makes me angry to think that some people deprive themselves of help just because some legalistic "Christian" told them that they wouldn't need medication if they'd just get right with God!</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> It's hard being an only child teenager of divorced parents living between the craziness of Southern California and the remoteness of Wyoming. Feeling led to find out what my relationship with Christ was all about...</div><div align="center"> in a VERY large church... ON MY OWN!!!</div><div align="center">It's hard having a 10 month old, being pregnant, and having a husband work 70+ hrs a week!</div><div align="center">It's hard having 2 "babies" and an undiagnosed illness that interferes with daily living!</div><div align="center">It's hard being broke!</div><div align="center">It's hard having sick kids!</div><div align="center">It's hard when your mother dies unexpectedly!</div><div align="center">It's hard living 900 miles away from your closest family!</div><div align="center">LIFE is HARD! </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">I've dealt with depression on and off in my life for about 20yrs, give or take. I've gone back and forth about the whole medication debate. It has worked for me in the past and I have also benefited from solely seeking the Lord's help. But now it seems different...</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="left">Webster defines depression (as I am talking about it) as:</div>2. b (1) : a state of feeling sad : dejection <br />(2) : a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies<br />c (1) : a reduction in activity, amount, quality, or force<br />(2) : a lowering of vitality or functional activity<br /><br /><div align="center">Yep, that would be me... all of those (minus the suicidal tendencies)! </div><div align="center">Do I think it's post-partum? Yes! Having a baby does crazy things to a woman!</div><div align="center">Do I think it's genetic? How could it NOT be?!</div><div align="center">I truly believe those 2 things put together are a dangerous combination and I am taking it seriously! Because definition 2 b (1) leads to b (2) and c (1), I am back on medication and seriously examing my heart condition! I am trying to help myself...</div><div align="center">and my family for that matter!</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">When did "trying to help yourself" become a legalistic debate?</div><div align="center">How is taking medication wrong if it leads to better sleep, a healthy appetite, being able to concentrate, being active and functional, and possibly even happy??</div><div align="center">I think there is no debate!</div><div align="center">In my little bubble, medication is a gift from God to my entire family!</div>Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-78910548339586998792010-08-16T13:32:00.002-05:002010-08-16T13:39:19.100-05:00OB Doc doesn't suck!My OB appointment went well. He took the time to look back in my chart about my last pregnancy and agreed that I needed pain meds and gave me the script. Wheewwww!! That anxiety is over! Ironically, the day I wrote the previous post someone posted something about pain meds and being treated like a junkie on a discussion board I follow. I feel so bad for so many people because I know what it's like to live with chronic pain and nothing you can do to fix it. I'm thankful today's appointment went like it did!!Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-79889310144308798342010-08-11T14:15:00.002-05:002010-08-11T14:51:35.040-05:00Pain SucksPain sucks!! No matter the reason, it sucks!! You'd think it would suck a little less after 8 yrs... wrong! So since I am currently engaged in a pain pity party I thought I'd write about it. It helps sometimes, maybe I think it keeps me from going insane. Just a warning... I don't think I have anything really profound or insightful to write. So I completely understand if you stop reading now.<br /><br />So in the thralls of pitiness I still ask the stupidest question, "why?". Not necessarily "why me?" but more "why this?". Why not something more treatable? Why not something more understood and excepted? And WHY Kansas? "Why Kansas?" You might ask. Well, if you have chronic pain this is one of THE worst states to possibly live in. Thanks to some wonderful doctors who made tons of money illegally and killed some people along the way by prescribing pain meds. Most doctors here are down right scared to even prescribe pain meds, that is if they even believe you need them in the first place!! (By they way, those docs are now in prison) Thankfully (hey look, something positive) our family doctor is great. He and Miles have built a bond outside of the clinic and I'm certain that was not by accident. So my doctor believes me and takes wonderful care of me. BUT... being pregnant and insurance changes have caused me to be doctoring with a new OB. So here I am, on the verge of yet another appointment to explain myself. And for those of you freaking out to read that I take pain meds while pregnant, you can calm down... I've been on pain meds during every pregnancy except the first (before I got "sick"). All of my babies have been born healthy. I can most certainly say that I am not addicted either. I have great control when it comes to taking them... I have to be in ALOT of pain and for awhile and have tried other things first before I take anything. They work but they also have side effects which aren't that pleasant.<br /><br />So, on Monday I get to bring this up with the OB. The pain is worse now, always is later in pregnancy. Then I get to take my prescription to the pharmacy where the tech will give me that LOOK, not only because of the pain meds but because of being pregnant. Then when I go back the pharmicist will give me the same LOOK as he/she explains the medication info assuming I'm a junkie.<br />So here is the real "why?" I guess....<br />Why do I feel like I have to plead my case and withstand those looks and judgements just to get relief and taken care of? Just doesn't seem fair.<br /><br />I know a lady here that has chronic, severe pain from a years old injury that has resulted in additional pain from scar tissue/arthritis/nerve damage. She got "accidently" placed on the DEA watchlist by a pharmacy when she was getting her pain meds. Because of that she CANNOT get any pain med precriptions filled. (that "accident" cannot be reversed once done) She is now on a pain pump. The final, last resort treatment for pain. She is in her mid 50s, with no other pain med options available to her for the rest of her life probably! Now THAT isn't fair! Pain Sucks!!!<br />So now I have totally forgotten where I was going to go with this pity party originally... oh well. Maybe someone will be encouraged just to know they aren't alone at their own pity parties!<br /><br />And just because it's been awhile... if you or someone you know has pain from a chronic condition and/or invisible illness, check out this website. <a href="http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/">www.butyoudontlooksick.com</a><br />it is fabulous! and they have a page on facebook too!Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-64711305037379706312010-06-21T11:01:00.002-05:002010-06-21T11:12:44.584-05:00So...So, I've been dealing some of these kind of "especially spiritual" people nearly everyday for years. And it has been extremely frustrating, not to mention annoying, and has caused a bit of hardening of my heart.<br />So after Pastor Mike's sermon it's really been on my mind, "what can I do on my end of these relationships to keep from being frustrated, annoyed, and bitter?"<br /><br />Humble myself. Remember that everyone is of different spiritual maturity. Pray for them. Love them because Christ loves them. Do not spend wasted amounts of energy on being frustrated, annoyed, or bitter!<br /><br />Sorry if these posts have been a bit of a rant!!Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-61087026866828272812010-06-14T15:44:00.003-05:002010-06-15T10:52:45.990-05:00Really????A couple weeks ago during a sermon on Ruth, our Pastor made a comment and my first thought was, "That's what I always think!" So what was the comment...<br /><em><strong>"I have mentioned on more than one occasion that I have a pet peeve–it’s people who talk like they have an inside track on God's plan. They never seem to be in doubt about what field they should glean in. They are constantly saying things like, “The Lord told me to do this,” “the Lord told me to go there,” “God revealed such-and-such to me.” You know what? I don't believe them. I think they talk that way because it sounds so spiritual. "</strong></em> <strong><em>Pastor Mike Andrus</em></strong><br /><br /><strong><em></em></strong><br />Why in the world do people do this?<br />Do they not feel secure that God really does have a plan? So they are trying to convince us (and themselves) that this what God wants them to do?!<br />Are they still working on ridding themselves of things like pride and arrogance? Speaking of things this way makes them feel special, especially spiritual?!<br /><br /><br />I think maybe it's a little bit of both and also a huge part of their character. I think maybe that majority of the people who speak this way have the same attitude about the rest of their life. They know what's best, what should happen next, where they should go, what they should try, and they don't listen to anyone else's advice and they certianly don't seek out counsel regarding anything. They know it all... just ask them!<br />So when faith in Christ comes into their life what are they supposed to do? Hope in things unseen? Walk by faith? Trust the words of God?<br /><br />After his comment Pastor Mike shared something about Ironside,<br /><strong><em>"Dr. Harry Ironside, the famous pastor of Moody Church in Chicago, once said that about 80% of the time he didn't know for sure what God's will was when he had to make a decision. Usually God would confirm His will later, but at the time, Ironside made his decisions based upon reason and common sense and the general parameters of Scripture. If a man as godly as Ironside was flying blind, I suspect you and I are, too, most of the time."</em></strong><br /><br />*****I feel I should put a little disclaimer in here... please do not get the impression that I don't think I have some of the same issues as the people I am talking about. I have made mistakes, thinking I was doing what the Lord wanted. I can admit when I am wrong and hopefully learn a huge lesson. I have no problem seeking out counsel. It is called growth. Continuing the same behaviors over and over, obviously shows no growth*****<br /><br />Ok, so where did all this come from??? Well, that answer will have to wait until the next post!Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-14091428291681118702010-05-18T12:11:00.002-05:002010-05-18T12:46:06.558-05:00Deja VuSo I've been living with a chronic illness for almost 8 years, you would think that me and my family would be used to it by now... WRONG! It seems especially hard to handle after doing so well for about 2 yrs. I think the worst part of it all, even more than the constant pain, is not having anyone who truly understands. Not even my husband really gets it. He has done an amazing job over the last 8 yrs but tends to forget after I've been doing well. I miss the couple of friends I had that really understood because they lived with chronic illnesses also.<br /><br />People think it's nice and the right thing to do to offer help and I'm sure they mean well, but they really have no idea what they are offering. On a bad day where I can bearly get out bed and get myself dressed, let alone take care of my husband and 4 kids, what exactly are these people offering to help with... my dishes, my laundry, my grocery shopping, changing my 1 yr olds diaper, fixing my toddler's lunch and then try to get him to take a nap... I wish they would understand that it is very hard to call up someone and say "HI, I'm having a really bad day. Can you come over to my house and do my laundry because my kids don't have any clean school uniforms? or "Can you stop by the store and get my grocery list because we are completely out of milk, cereal, eggs, bread, and peanut butter, which means my kids won't be eating tonight unless I get something from that list."<br /><br />What people with chronic illness need is for people to offer them specific things and then actually DO IT. Like cooking a meal for the family, most chronically ill moms I know have nothing left in them by dinner time and dinner often consists of cereal or sandwiches or McDonalds. Offer to pick kids up from school. Offer to have the kids that are at home over to your house for a playdate in the afternoon so Mom can take a nap. Offer to take her and/or her kids to church activities. Offer to pick up a couple things from the store because you are going anyway. The entire family would appreciate it!<br /><br />For about the last week I have been looking at youtube videos for encouragment and reminding that I'm not alone in this... how sad is that!! Because of pain and fibrofog I haven't been able to do devotionals regularly for months. I can't concentrate unless it is absolutely quiet (with 4 kids, HA) and even if that happens my attention span is about 5 minutes before I wander and don't even remember what I was reading. As if trying to do devotionals isn't bad enough, think about praying... I used to be a prayer warrior. People with chronic illness make great prayer warriors because even if they can't physically serve somehow, they can and do pray. Has your mind ever wandered or simply forgot what you were "saying" while praying?? It's very frustrating!<br /><br />Deja vu, feeling like you've done something before... the last few weeks have been constant<br />deja vu... SO while it has been awhile since I've been in this state, I have NOT forgetten that my all knowing, all powerful, loving God is allowing me to go through this. And no one knows my heart except Him. I have grown faster in the last 8 yrs than the previous 24, and I am certain it is because of the thorn in my flesh. While I am thankful for all things, yes, even this... doesn't mean it makes it easy to handle everyday.<br /><br />Maybe this post will remind someone that they know a person who lives with a chronic illness and maybe spur them on to help. And possibly encourage someone because they are not alone!Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-4042314264417681592009-12-24T18:14:00.003-06:002009-12-24T18:30:19.944-06:00Rollercoasters?!I used to LOVE rollercoasters... the fastest, the highest, the scariest... Not anymore.<br /><div>Something about having kids and being responsible has sparked a weird kind of dislike, or maybe fear... at any rate, I'm not a huge fan of the biggest, baddest ones anymore. I think I used to enjoy life being a sort of rollercoaster too. That has also changed!!</div><br /><div>It seems like the last few weeks, since Oct. 25-the 1st yr anniversary of my mom's death, have been crazy. One day I think I'm handling things really well and I can actually think about her without crying. Then most days, I just feel weird, kind of like a zombie... in emotional limbo. Similar to the first few weeks after she died. Then there are the bad days too. Seems like those usually begin after waking up from a weird dream about her.</div><br /><div>And now with Christmas nearly here... it's been terrible, I almost wish it was February and we were well past this time. </div><br /><div>Christmas was her favorite time of year... she had LOTS of decorations, outside, inside, in everyroom, even the bathroom!! She started listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving. She could drive around every night and look at others decorations. She always bought a little something for everyone, probably even the mailman!!! While I was annoyed at most of these Christmas traditions... I miss them now... I miss then desperately. I would love to go back and truly enjoy those times with her. </div><br /><div>Now I struggle to make Christmas enjoyable and not annoying for my kids and to also truly enjoy the time with them. It is such a strange place to be in. I am seeing the need to lean on the everlasting arms of the Savior... the One who started all these crazy traditions in the first place!<img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5418963872238335058" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpWb0VGPEvDadRacVrcDvY7nb7pwPYLMha4eO7iQAtxZyOBBXIBET06yaCVrcJ17NvkUOOnDo3iCDSutP5WTNEg_mqJ5IetIxZAxhTo7isGRVpezIRswh6r0unL94ZIKjS99B31W-aIy6k/s320/Picture+012.jpg" /></div>This is one of my favorite Christmas pics with her!<br /><div>Thank you Jesus!</div>Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-25700891326032480612009-10-04T13:29:00.002-05:002009-10-04T13:50:36.910-05:00Essentially FrustratedOver the last few years I have heard many conversations about the "essentials" of the faith and about not compromising on them - good counsel! I have run into very big and obvious differences but had yet to realize how I defined my "essentials" until a supposed "non-essential" challenged me. I think I know now.<br /><br />Are essentials only related to God's sovereignty and salvation? I don't think so.<br /><br />Webster defines essential as: of the utmost importance. (in this context)<br /><br />So how do we decide what is and what is not essential or of the utmost importance regarding our faith? If I believe the Bible to be God's Word, then I believe it is all true and of the utmost importance regarding my faith! I don't believe the culture we live in today changes any part of God's Word or makes anything any less relevant or less important... and that is what shapes my study of His Word and "essentially" the living out of my faith.<br />:)Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-16956854844269452342009-09-01T13:43:00.002-05:002009-09-03T10:18:41.155-05:00Rocky FoundationsIn a Bible study that I am doing the passage of the wise man and the foolish man in Matthew 7 came up, you know the song... "The wise man built his house upon the rock... the rains came down and the floods came up (are you doing the motions)... and the house on the rock stood firm!" Well, as most of us probably, I thought, "oh ya, I know this passage" and didn't REALLY read it, went on and answered the study questions. But I thought of this passage all day and continued to have these images of houses in my head.<br /><br />*I suppose a little side note would help out the reader at this point - I had still been struggling with prayer and guilt about my lack of dedication to spending time with the Lord, something that has been ongoing since the whirlwind of a couple of months when my mom died, the holidays, and Lincoln being born. I have known that the enemy was getting a foothold wherever possible but even knowing that wasn't helping my guilt, I guess the enemy knew that too.*<br /><br />So as I am pondering this passage and images of houses something clicked... The house built on the sandy foundation obviously would not stand during a flood or even a fierce storm, even the foundation would be washed away. But the house built on the rock foundation is obviously different. If the house represents our lives then it needs to be maintained in order to continue to stand. We may get a broken window or need a new roof or perhaps some siding needs replaced but even when we sustain damage from a fierce storm, the foundation is still firm. The damage can be repaired. Sometimes when it is better to replace the entire the roof we can only afford to patch the holes.<br /><br />I guess that is kind of how I have felt these last months... I know there are repairs that need to be made but I can only do what is absolutely necessary to get by. And yes, my house will still be standing on the firm foundation. It just may not look as nice and new as it once did. Maybe someday I will be able to really fix it up, remodel, or even upgrade. For now, I am thankful I can sit on my front porch and know that my house will stand when the storms come...Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-26892797697046045012009-07-31T20:49:00.002-05:002009-07-31T21:18:19.402-05:00Spiritually Overwhelmed?Is being spiritually overwhelmed possible? Maybe that is not a good choice of words, maybe "in awe of all the Lord is doing" is better. However you say it I just have this overwhelming sense of amazement at the work of our God.<br /><br />While on vacation (details on Kennedy Connection) I got a phone call from a very good friend with very awesome news... She is now not only my friend, but also my sister in Christ! After years of praying, many, many prayers were answered. So many things are happening so fast in her life that it is obviously the work of God.<br /><br />I have also been doing a study in Luke... just a week after the news of my friend I come upon the parable of the soils in Luke 8... v.15 "As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the Word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience." WOW... bearing fruit with patience!! It has taken literally years for this friend of mine, but with patience, I finally saw that fruit! Something about this whole situation strengthens my confidence in the my Lord and all that He promises.<br /><br />So here is another "a-ha" type thing going on... Before Miles and I moved to Wichita we read a book written by the President (and founder) of World Impact, Keith Phillips. It is called "Out of Ashes" and kind of chronicles the beginning of World Impact and the love and compassion he had/has for the inner city, poor people of America. As we read his book we kept saying "that's us... that's what we should be doing... that is why we grew up the way we did...", we knew the Lord wanted to us to minister to others who are going through things we had. So then a couple weeks ago Miles "randomly" finds this video by a guy named Francis Chan. We thought his name sounded familiar so we began doing a little research... He is on the national board for WI. He has also written a book, "crazy love". We began reading it the first day of vacation. The title sums up the book... the love of God is crazy, the love we have for God is crazy, the things this love causes us to do is crazy... all in a good way of course. Two sentences out of this book have been tattooed on my mind so to speak.<br /><br />"Having faith often means doing what others see as crazy. Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers." (crazy love, Chan, pg 114-115)<br /><br />This book is exactly what my heart needed almost 2yrs after moving to Wichita...<br />Thank You LordKennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-77026310220911335772009-07-28T14:55:00.004-05:002009-07-28T15:21:25.154-05:00Missing Momma<div align="center"><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#009900;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363602405578202226" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhL0jrWoVlzcJ89fQFpBbHplsYmmOndksPg1wI8LNOQuSGpfju-whAO9wUV0fUto1jihMmFMIBBcWIjmDbD81OoIGPmtJ533ejb2dUYl6eTa8cWahQhk2f-TZN4QA-WRW0IKO3P4M-6tgA/s320/100_4954.JPG" border="0" />So this is the tattoo I got in memory of my mom. I knew I wanted a dolphin but couldn't come up with a design I really liked, not to mention making a decision as to where to put it since dolphins are not something I am normally in to. They are pretty and cute and fun to watch but I had never thought about getting a tattoo of one. So while on vacation I had some time to really think about it and found this design that I really love. It fits my personality/style/type, whatever you want to call it and it reminds me of my mom. So I decided to put it on my forearm/wrist (inside part) so I can look at it whenever I want to. Oh yeah, and the eye is green because that was mom's favorite color.</span> </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">I am so thankful that the Lord knows my heart and knows what I need. I have really been missing my mom, wishing I could see her, wishing she'd come visit again soon...</div><div align="center">So we have had more people come visit this summer than ever before and it has just been great and it's not over yet... </div><div align="center">I have been so blessed to keep in touch with a couple of my mom's good friends as well as making new friends here that have so much in common. I have a few women that I can share my heart with in regards to my mom and that helps a lot but nothing will ever replace her.</div><div align="center">The thoughts of wanting to call her to tell her something or send her pictures of the kids make me just want to fall on the floor in a heap and sob.... thanks to prozac, I don't do it that often!</div><div align="center">Hahaha!</div><div align="center">OK... maybe that is TMI and maybe I should clarify that I'm not a chronically depressed person. After having Lincoln 3 1/2 months after mom died I was just an emotional trainwreck! So I am finally approaching the 6 month mark and doing extremely better and will be off the meds soon!!</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">If you are one of the ladies I have talked about, thank you from the bottom of my heart!</div><div align="center"> You are truly a blessing!<br /></div><div align="center"></div>Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-17409132000482001232009-06-24T22:21:00.004-05:002009-06-24T22:36:40.242-05:00Very good illustrationThanks to my husband I now know who Francise Chan is and I don't think I have ever seen someone be able to illustrate a point like he does. There are numerous videos on youtube and many other church sites. I think the video speaks for itself...<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LA_uwWPE6lQ&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LA_uwWPE6lQ&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-54068990909080231472009-06-22T13:10:00.006-05:002009-06-22T13:42:14.509-05:00Girls Night<div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><em><span style="color:#006600;">Last week Sydni and I attended the annual Gala In The Garden at Botanica here in Wichita. It is put on by our church and includes touring the botanical gardens, dinner, a craft for the girls, and a guest speaker. </span></em><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350220586873234434" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjs66e3DIfKZBEfncqghz9oQqhMeHJRISj-uVVxoZHr72hD0ZkpnSdbK8ju3WPgSZuciWqEysGYHJm0Y7EJczEv7tX8l8B4zvq7mkNthFYvNbKqYe4ghi6aL2xYUiQbLargqYjpNKLFPdm/s320/100_4592.JPG" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350221847944899266" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1oiEw_JYCkIRijkhip5Xv_Am0VPMpJRWH2n94U0uZ3gtSBPovJpqw6JpvCDKvcki580xytubJIsa0cqShrEkoKEOAeJf5U4rAHsvZzi1G1frc5wSM04iYK0xrHENYh95vWZPAY1a6Rclf/s320/100_4606.JPG" border="0" /><em><span style="color:#006600;">I had not intended to go to this event at all. It was on a day that I had several things going on already and I didn't want to end my day with one more thing I HAD to do. Especially, a Gala... what is a Gala anyway... sounds a little too fancy for this girl. </span></em><em><span style="color:#006600;">After a gentle push from a mature lady I respect, I made the commitment to go. I'm very glad that I did!</span></em><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350220610010037730" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYX_bxwjYn6Bsi300aQT5clB56bJOStURm_aSDwACdkkOg4dHHUI3sg7icmWIIxM4nwEGz1PRodAMo7fSP8VvzxlCS7c6n485iK_V0Idl_cSRhklS31CEHZdx8VyISYxLYnKV4z4FfqJD4/s320/100_4599.JPG" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350221855737660146" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW05n5Gx5EitlfqqsuthTOVGSJ8uutgMRRp1fWtObubr8SX41AwRlVgTX0RhB_hHnIsQqE-337k8RdiI6Pc7l4P-FJXTGppm_WCJQYYu1CGM2jPH5H_xw_mOn42008LD-3M2OlTAyHOcVb/s320/100_4610.JPG" border="0" /><em><span style="color:#006600;">Sydni and I had a fun time walking around the gardens and taking pictures. She is growing up so fast I just had to take a couple deep breaths and take it all in.</span></em><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350221865793269890" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNdDok5ur2MppOq3beWRr4YLRXYIOvk6DdjAVmYlDfcbMfWMMsaIJ0wGwUKW1cH0ssi_mD7z6HhHufpziJvv3DX3bMFFY-iBLxTMkGSUnKRybtkdXW1j7_jonmudRmULZSsGa16QUcPU8g/s320/100_4603.JPG" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350220587738028594" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0M-9S2yWASf8VRSXLuOPOVA3Yy7OWol_7aCQEcLtEmC-BCkor5kafrSuLv9o3V9pW9XBpG3UZZf_SHssIxLhmLvdChL3TEqo3Q7DSM21Jx4mHsyuNtJ8NW9uTK1hJoVH7_KYuKPeTn4jS/s320/100_4595.JPG" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350220595909857362" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2OmYO_Nk1fCkGidr111vXOr820aTYeo0ZEGjFlYTkBDC4wU7OrR7r849OblPSyi_Umd61ThEve2nKNbado2XMgQhppO2W4RQMBTh3rR3AFVGjtuZobPDUlwODoM8JUztobkRJyBPKC2Oa/s320/100_4596.JPG" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350220604263717826" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHny6XNXXTHp8j026XaqUpMEXI3mqPHP6vWpsL4yoXYMzLK9kuHtbgzTZglJPGiUXjeiWZaHbxbg3TrvPJ0xScYeSzTvEHorASoLzFlWfNKTHViwj7KxcAIgVcU19z8FBrvGHWJ38rcwbF/s320/100_4597.JPG" border="0" /><em><span style="color:#006600;">The guest speaker was absolutely wonderful! She spoke about God's perfect timing and contentment (imagine that). And left me with something I will never forget. She said, "When I have not been content in my life it has been because I wasn't in control of something" WOW! Is it that simple? How easily we complicate our lives!</span></em><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350221860295266226" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNkTn0MOj1WXc1j5Aka6X3vHiy3CYs-_7KLlG-DDHBvMbg1FUeYo-IDmsAdqhb0-W3xD26ZmIpe5stbh79ghbx6rQuRtzMShmlW9Hp9XIVR5E5LaMg53Cag4Yqzx1gXZ1UnE96cQQWLa_F/s320/100_4617.JPG" border="0" /><em><span style="color:#006600;">1 Timothy 6:6 says, "Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment,"</span></em></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-81734104337380843912009-06-12T17:05:00.004-05:002009-06-12T23:23:09.573-05:00Loving FellowshipI have been thinking about the condition of "the church" these days and how much the world really has an influence. We have as many programs as possible, for as many people as possible and yet it seems we lack TRUE fellowship. [fellowship - sharing in common]<br /><br /><br />I see A LOT of fellowship in the world. We "fellowship" with family members because we have the same family members in common. We fellowship with friends because we have known each other for a long time, or have kids the same age, or share the same interests, or are fans of the same team/sport. Mothers fellowships with other mothers from their kid's school. We fellowship with co-workers at our jobs and even after we clock out.<br /><br /><br />When living my life apart from Christ I used to spend a lot of time "fellowshipping" at the bar. I always liked going to the bar, not so much for the drinking, but for the "fellowship". It is easy to "fit in" at the bar. Come in, sit down, "how are you?", listen to music, dance, chat, play pool or darts....<br />I think I had only stepped into a couple of bars that I didn't feel "comfortable" in. Often times I felt more comfortable, accepted, loved, etc. there than with my own family and yes, even sometimes more comfortable than a couple churches I have attended. How sad!<br /><br /><br />I just feel sick at the thought that I have a great friend, who is an amazing woman and I can't tell her "this or that church is great... go talk to so and so, they are great, you'll love it there". She would have to drive over an hour to get to that kind of church!!!<br /><br /><br /><em><strong>What exactly are we "fellowshipping" about during the few hours a week we spend together at church...more worldly things than spiritual? </strong></em><br /><em><strong>Isn't having Christ in common enough? </strong></em><br /><strong><em>What other criterea do we require of others?</em></strong><br /><em><strong>What better thing could we share in common? </strong></em><br /><em><strong>Where is the LOVE? At the bar? I hope not!</strong></em><br /><em><strong></strong></em><br /><em><strong>Am I just going through the motions of my Sunday/Tuesday habit?</strong></em><br /><em><strong>Am I as loving and encouraging as I should be... as God expects me to be?</strong></em><br /><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#006600;">Hebrews 10:24-25 says,</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#006600;">"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."</span></em>Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-54639880135134848102009-06-03T17:24:00.006-05:002009-06-03T19:57:59.273-05:00Multitasker MemorizationIs that even possible?<br /><br />I think I have mastered multitasking, but something still isn't quite right... I can do several things at once as long as one particular thing doesn't require my undivided attention, such as reading, studying, or memorizing. I would love to blame this on our American culture and how it has helped to shape me in the last 30+ years, but I'm afraid that is just an excuse. Although it is a very good and logical excuse, that is still all it is, an excuse. I have never been able to read or study in the midst of other things going on around me. With 1 husband, 4 kids, & 2 cats... there seems to ALWAYS be something going on which in turn causes my brain to be multitasking. I have a child who thinks it's necessary to get up way too early, often times before the sun even makes an appearance... there goes the "get up early before everyone else" senario! By the time the kids are all snug in their beds (and asleep) I have pretty much checked out for the day. A zombie trying to get any last minute multitasking in before I go to bed and try to get my brain to slow down enough so I can fall asleep. Do you see how all my excuses kind of flow together to make one big excuse.....<br /><br />So often I wish I had a lifestyle that allowed me to get up before everyone, have a cup of coffee in silence, have an uniterrupted time of prayer and reading the Word... it sounds so.... perfect :)<br /><br />I suppose one day I will be in a season of life that allows for such perfection but I am certain that time is not now.<br /><br />So where was I going with this....... oh yeah, memorization. I've been told how important it is. Somehow I believe I was told this too late. When I was younger I could memorize phone numbers and addresses with ease but that was also pre-cell phone & email, when my grandparents still had a rotary phone. I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit! Just when I think I can't witness to anyone because I can't memorize anything, the Spirit steps in to help me out with the words I need! Whewww.... boy am I glad that God knew we'd need the Spirit. I am also thankful for the mornings or afternoons or evenings that I DO get the kind of peace and quiet I need even if only for a few minutes! I am also very thankful that He knows my heart... and my excuses :)Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6866565420988545961.post-12246859428795139422009-06-02T14:46:00.004-05:002009-06-02T15:24:14.183-05:00Greetings and ExplanationsWe (Miles & I) created a blog a few years ago to keep friends and family posted on what was going on with our family and of course to post lots of pictures! Well I have been tossing around the idea of starting another blog that would be more personal, i.e. personal thoughts, what I am studying, what I am learning, etc. With all of our moving around over the years, I have left long time friends, new friends, school friends, church friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers. There are many people I would love to stay in contact with but quite frankly it is very time consuming, when I need to invest my time where we are... if any of that makes sense.<br /><br />Simply stated, if you have known me for a long time or a short time and care to follow what is going on in my life then great, please do. If not, then don't, no hard feelings!<br /><br />So how did I come up with "Life Outside Of The Bubble"? Well I planned on making this explanation short, but I see now that it may get lengthy as it calls for a little bit of testimony. So first, I was not born into a Christian Bubble. My mom & dad married in Southern California and moved to Wyoming around my 1st birthday. After my mom dabbled around in a couple different religions she finally settled (for awhile anyway) at a Baptist church where I attented regularly with her. When I was 8 yrs old I asked Jesus to be the Lord of my life. I understood that I was a sinner and He was the only Savior. Not too long after that my parents divorced. My mom headed back to So Cal while my dad stayed in Wyoming. I was given the choice of who I wanted to live with, so off to California I went with my mom. That decision started a long list of decisions that my parents weren't very good at making me stick with. I moved back and forth between them every couple of years. As a kid in California, life involved church (for a little while), moving a lot, mom's boyfriends, 2 stepdads, partying, "fun", and extended family. Not exactly what you picture when you think of a Christian Bubble. As a kid in Wyoming, life involved church (off/on), a stepmom, 2 of my 3 step-siblings, a somewhat absent dad who was always busy doing his own thing, partying, "fun", and extended family. Are you seeing the trend....<br /><br />Eventually as a teenager I walked away from the Lord. That seemed easier then trying to fit into the Christian Bubble crowd. Well, the Lord broke me (alongside Miles) down in every way imaginable - through my marriage, through my kids, through my other family members, finacially, and even physically with health issues. Once Miles and I made the decision to turn our lives around and begin following the Lord, I began struggling with fitting into the Christian Bubble. Where did I fit in with my personality, after the life I had already led... I even had very visible tattoos??!! The fact is I don't "fit in".<br /><br />It seems that the Lord never used "normal" circumstances in my life and today it is no different... so this is my blog about my life "Outside Of The Bubble"Kennedy Crewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643346030676208115noreply@blogger.com3