Deja Vu

So I've been living with a chronic illness for almost 8 years, you would think that me and my family would be used to it by now... WRONG! It seems especially hard to handle after doing so well for about 2 yrs. I think the worst part of it all, even more than the constant pain, is not having anyone who truly understands. Not even my husband really gets it. He has done an amazing job over the last 8 yrs but tends to forget after I've been doing well. I miss the couple of friends I had that really understood because they lived with chronic illnesses also.

People think it's nice and the right thing to do to offer help and I'm sure they mean well, but they really have no idea what they are offering. On a bad day where I can bearly get out bed and get myself dressed, let alone take care of my husband and 4 kids, what exactly are these people offering to help with... my dishes, my laundry, my grocery shopping, changing my 1 yr olds diaper, fixing my toddler's lunch and then try to get him to take a nap... I wish they would understand that it is very hard to call up someone and say "HI, I'm having a really bad day. Can you come over to my house and do my laundry because my kids don't have any clean school uniforms? or "Can you stop by the store and get my grocery list because we are completely out of milk, cereal, eggs, bread, and peanut butter, which means my kids won't be eating tonight unless I get something from that list."

What people with chronic illness need is for people to offer them specific things and then actually DO IT. Like cooking a meal for the family, most chronically ill moms I know have nothing left in them by dinner time and dinner often consists of cereal or sandwiches or McDonalds. Offer to pick kids up from school. Offer to have the kids that are at home over to your house for a playdate in the afternoon so Mom can take a nap. Offer to take her and/or her kids to church activities. Offer to pick up a couple things from the store because you are going anyway. The entire family would appreciate it!

For about the last week I have been looking at youtube videos for encouragment and reminding that I'm not alone in this... how sad is that!! Because of pain and fibrofog I haven't been able to do devotionals regularly for months. I can't concentrate unless it is absolutely quiet (with 4 kids, HA) and even if that happens my attention span is about 5 minutes before I wander and don't even remember what I was reading. As if trying to do devotionals isn't bad enough, think about praying... I used to be a prayer warrior. People with chronic illness make great prayer warriors because even if they can't physically serve somehow, they can and do pray. Has your mind ever wandered or simply forgot what you were "saying" while praying?? It's very frustrating!

Deja vu, feeling like you've done something before... the last few weeks have been constant
deja vu... SO while it has been awhile since I've been in this state, I have NOT forgetten that my all knowing, all powerful, loving God is allowing me to go through this. And no one knows my heart except Him. I have grown faster in the last 8 yrs than the previous 24, and I am certain it is because of the thorn in my flesh. While I am thankful for all things, yes, even this... doesn't mean it makes it easy to handle everyday.

Maybe this post will remind someone that they know a person who lives with a chronic illness and maybe spur them on to help. And possibly encourage someone because they are not alone!